'Move on and be a 'real man"': 38-year-old man's mother-in-law destroys the Millennium Falcon Lego he built with her grandson, so he bans her from returning to their home until she apologizes

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  • AITA for not letting my mother in law come over after she destroyed my Millennium Falcon Lego set?
  • I (38M) live with my wife (37F) and my seven year old son. I work as an engineer and my wife is a senior supervisor at a law firm. I have always loved Legos since I
  • was a kid, and sure, it's kind of childish but it makes me happy so I've kept it as a consistent hobby throughout my adult life. In 2024 I spent months building the Millennium Falcon with my son.
  • It's me and my son's pride and joy and I often show guests who come over. My wife doesn't really get the hype but doesn't mind either.
  • In early March my wife's parents came over for a week to spend time with us. As I usually do with guests, I asked them if they would like to see my Lego collection. They agreed, and I
  • showed both her father and mother my Millennium Falcon. Her father was amazed at the time it took to build my sizable collection, but her mother said that it was a waste of time and
  • that I should focus on being a real man and move up the corporate ladder. I laughed it off because she's pretty old and I figured she just held very old fashioned beliefs. We left the room and
  • nobody really mentioned it for a few hours, but at dinner her mother said out of nowhere that I should give up on all this Lego "nonsense" and be a real man. We ignored this and moved on,
  • but you could see in her expression that she was not happy. Nobody said anything about it for the rest of their stay, and all seemed well the morning they
  • left. They left at 3AM to catch a flight, and we waved them off. I went back to bed but the next morning awoke to find my Millennium Falcon smashed to pieces with a note from my wife's
  • mother calmly saying that this was for my own good so that I can be a real man and focus on what matters. It turns out she had quietly destroyed it in the night and left in the morning. Me and
  • especially my son were very upset. I called her in the morning but she refused to apologize. I said that until she apologized they would not be coming back
  • again. My wife is not happy with my decision on this matter and honestly I'm starting to wonder if I overreacted. Did I go overboard or am I in the right?
  • historychick99 She ruined something you and your son did together! Regardless of her feelings about you- she actively did something that hurt her grandchild. That right there is grounds to not allow her in your home or have a relationship with your child.
  • UPDATE

    First off, I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of support. It's been wonderful seeing everyone's advice has helped me realize a few things. I had a good long talk with
  • my wife in attempt to resolve this situation, and we've again called the mother in law which I hoped would diffuse the situation and bring things back down to earth. Instead, tensions have seemed only to have escalated.
  • Firstly, after lunch my wife and I discussed the situation adult to adult. I expressed my feelings of her not being behind me in this. She admitted to having harbored
  • feelings against my Lego collection. She also admitted to secretly agreeing partially with my mother. She doesn't think that my mother in law should have gone as
  • far as she did, but according to my wife I need to move on. I feel hurt by this since it's been my lifelong hobby and being an engineer I take great joy in building various creations with Legos.
  • After that, my wife and I were certainly not in agreement but we were at least on the same page. We also both wanted to resolve things with my mother in law and so that day we called her mother
  • and things did not go well to say the least. I simply told her that I was sorry I had to not let her come back, and I hope things can be resolved quickly. Still feeling upset about the Lego Millenium Falcon, I
  • said that all I asked of her was an apology. She refused, saying that if she bends for me at all I would never get over my Lego "obsession". My wife is not happy with any of this and frankly the
  • marriage is starting to show tensions, which worries me greatly. She seems to be more distant after all of this. My son has developed a strong disliking of the mother in law and I really can't blame him.
  • So that's the update, things are getting even worse and I'm not sure if I can salvage the situation. I'll update everyone when new developments occur.
  • babytoesalami Seems like some deeper issues here than legos. My guess would be that your MIL's actions and words are based on things that your wife has said to her. MIL went of the rails, but your wife likely lit this fuse.

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